...some more Barbecue lines

These are some more lines of verse to add to the end the Barbecue book I am working with. These need editing but I forget how to do this. Posting it here also means I will not loose them on a burnt out computer hard drive.

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Lovers of myself; dead do they suffocate me?
He swims naked in tan flesh in the long ocean beach
and can I still remember him? Did I really live longer
lover of me in my past I remember you still in drug
induced sleep, illness his old age; memories back
alive, like now, should I feel the shame of wiping
old man tears from my eyes. I feel this shame;
they are dead; it should be me, what I do to
survive as that which should be dead, are told.
Sunflower's life defy and still it remains. There,
eternally there; he says the beautiful and touching
short films of teenage coming out and first loves;
he remembers the name of his first love again how
it feels, again that feeling. Should this be his
triumphant first love; again. Saying old love, in
years as fresh as first infatuations of adolescence,
while being taught in the cold lecture theatre.